Adventures In Adulthood

Image Credit: Darrell Gulin

Last week I worked four days. It was a good experience. Before I knew it, it was the weekend again.

I got out and did some fun activities with friends. I noticed how happy everyone was.

Yes, it is summer and people are generally more happy at this time of the year. But I also observed friends to have more energy.

So, my curious mind got to thinking…

Would people be happier if they only worked 4 days a week?

And I’m not referring to 4 ten hour days. That’s not good. For some people it works, but I know some of these people and when I see them, they look TIRED.

Would people be happier if they worked 4 eight hour days each week? That would mean a full time work week would be only 32 hours.

Before you get all excited and say “HELL YES” take a moment to think about it…

• You would have more time.
• You would work less.

Sounds so simple, right? Of course it would make you happier.  But did you consider things like:

• You’d still feel similar about the work you do (and most people don’t like their work.)
• More time to yourself more than likely means less money in your pocket.

Or does it?

Join me on a ride in pure imagination for a moment…

Pretend that each of us work 4 days a week, we play when we don’t work, but they type of play we do is very recreational. We get outside and actually take the time to smell the roses, do our own gardening, etc. We sit down and talk with our friends- and I do mean talk to them in person.

We simply have more time to “be.”

People would be more clean (more time to do laundry, primp, put lotion on, whatever), you might use your car less, spending less money on gasoline, and your memory just may actually work!

Sounds pretty, doesn’t it?

But would it be reality?

There are a lot of people that say the key to life is balance. For me, “balance” is more attainable and understandable if I did work just 32 hours a week. I wouldn’t mind a mild sacrifice of the luxurious lifestyle I live (yeah right!) in order to feel more present to the things in life I usually take for granted.

What about you?

How funny our communication is now that we are all on social networking sites!

Image Credit: SocialHappens.com

Just last week I posed a provoking question to my Facebook wall. I thought about what I often see in my news feed and I wanted to know why so many people post quotes from famous people.

So I asked.

And I got some responses.

My Facebook friends were very willing to share that doing such is all about inspiration.

But inspiration for who?

It’s a good thing that we all have a “Wall” where we share our thoughts. And if we resonate with each other’s updates, we comment- communicate- and connect.

CONNECT?  (How does Mark Zuckerberg continue to justify communicating on a social networking site like Facebook is connecting? I say BS to that!)

However, it’s mega convenient to communicate in this manner so we do it. Plain and simple.

Yeah, but what about communicating in certain styles? Like criticizing something, someone, or (no- don’t do it!) “stirring the pot” (aka- being provocative?)

It seems that there’s this unwritten rule to be positive (even when you need to fake it) when communicating via social networks. I’ve read dozens of books on “How to do social networking” and I have yet to read any sentence that states “Share your true feelings.”

It’s a funny thing- how being PC has carried over to online communication.

Sure, I get it. Nobody wants to “connect” with a negative Neal or Nancy. Where’s the fun in that? But sharing your true feelings on your Facebook wall- geez, that’s almost worse than sharing your true feelings in person.

Frankly, I’m tired of everyone sharing on Facebook how wonderful and awesome everything is. I think they’re lying. (Or at least in a great amount of denial.)

Why wouldn’t anyone want to share what’s really going on with them?

Is it because we need to be PC? If that’s an accurate answer, lord help us because being PC in person- yeah right, how far does that really get us?

But one thing I learned from the Facebook communication thread last week is that there might be an excellent reason for being positive and inspiring. That one reason has a one word answer; and it starts with ASS.

Assumptions.

Now this may have to do with that communication thread alone- and it can be a million times different in other threads- but when people start commenting and communicating about things that they feel differently, they (almost inevitably) begin to assume things.  Judgements are expressed. Un-politically correct words are exchanged. Heck, “friendships” are lost.

It has a strong potential to get ugly- fast.

So maybe that’s why the “Experts” who write “How to do Social Networking” books and articles tell us to stay positive. Heaven forbid that you actually lose a friend on Facebook. (Sarcasm)

I still disagree with the “Experts.” I think it’s more important and valuable to be yourself. If you have judgements, share them. If you want to complain about something, get if off your chest.

Not all your “friends” are going to like it, but know that I’m more than happy to fight with you- on Facebook and other social networking sites.

“Ding. ding”

I had originally planed to launch this blog three weeks ago…

Things happen.

Are these “things” just excuses or really legit reasons? I mean my computer’s motherboard did fry (NEVER buy an HP Laptop!), I just started a new job, and heck, it’s Spring!

Whether these are BS excuses or things to embrace (thank you spiritual teachers) I had a ton of big ideas to prepare this blog for your eyes and mind.  However, the reality is I’m not there yet.

Last night I was thinking about this blog and said “F* it. I’ve got to do this!”  (It was a freeing feeling.)

So I guess I’m ready. Sorry for keeping you waiting.

There’s two posts to check out. Let me know what you think. And I BEG of you- share what means the most to you. That’s my purpose here.

Reid

To some, death is an adventure.  There are people who literally put their lives to the greatest tests. They jump out of planes, off of cliffs, get stuck between boulders in canyons and do some of the craziest things known to humankind.

I used to think this way.  An old friend used to tell me my life motto was “If you’re not living life on the edge, then it’s not worth living at all.” (That motto no longer resonates with me. I’m more fearful than I used to be.)

Things change. But for some- they never get the chance to experience the change.

They die too young.

This morbid thought brings to memory an old friend, Amber.

Amber lived life on the edge. She had this energy to her. It seemed like she thought she never fit in. (and I’ll own my projection there.)

Amber died very tragically. On her 21st birthday, she was riding an oversized unicycle on the side of a freeway overpass. She rode over a bump or something that launched her over the side rail and onto the life ending pavement of Interstate 35W in Minneapolis.

She wasn’t drunk, hi, or in an altered state of mind. She just was too close to the edge.

Amber was only 21. She died too young.

Amber’s story is just a minute example of our friends who pass too early in life.

I’ve always wondered if Amber died because she was willing to take too huge of a risk(s).  It’s weird to think how little we consciously realize the extent of how much we put our live’s in danger. (Amber was probably having the time of her life on the unicycle- the night of her 21st birthday.)

And there are some friends who don’t take much risks but end up dying anyway. (That’s where memories of people I knew bring up a ton of sadness.)  The classmate in 5th grade, Michael Gephardt, who died of spinal meningits. The high school classmate who was accidentally shot and killed by his best friend.  What risks did this these people take to lose their lives?

Nearly all 7 billion people on this planet (in their own way) will tell you life is a trip. They might even say life is an adventure. But for the people who die way too young- what do you think they would say?

Remember the days of being a child- when someone asked you “what do you want to be when you grow up?” a reply was something like “A firefighter, the President of the United States of America, or a singer.”

Those were the days. We dreamed big. Really big. Our imaginations were so powerful and so vivid. We had idealistic visions of what we would do if we were these types of professionals. We all thought we would help people and save the world.

But as we grow, we learn that reality is quite a different perception. Life isn’t peaches and cream. There are hardships, struggles, and some damn scary instances that can happen. (Many of my family members refer to scary things happening as life throwing us curve balls. That’s funny in itself because no one in my family played baseball.)

As we age and gain life experience, we lose touch with our imaginations, react to fear more than what we need to, and settle for more mundane things in life.

This brings me to the point of my original question- Do adults settle and start families because they give up on their dreams? Before I delve into the thought, I want to share something: I’m not a parent. Therefore, I have a particular bias. If you happen to be a parent, and after reading this find yourself with a strong opinion, please share it. I would like to hear your experiences and learn where my blind spots may be.

Have you ever asked yourself “What am I here for?” (here referring to being on planet Earth) Many people think the answer is to procreate. I think that’s a bunch of crap. Others think that we’re here to share our talents and gifts with the rest of the world. That’s a bit better but after being on the planet for 34 years, I’m still not sold on that idea.

And then there’s the Kharma police. These people will say that we’re here to learn lessons and pay our Kharmic debts. I have to be honest- there are days where I think this idea is so crazy that we’re all fools to believe something like this. But then there are days where I couldn’t agree with it more.

It matters not what you believe in. What matters more is what you want to do with this thing called “life.”

I have a suspicion that many people, at the ages of 4-10 (or whatever), don’t say “I want to be a father” or “I want to be a mother.” That’s something that seems to present itself into adulthood.

Why does it happen then? Is it because adults get a taste of “bitter reality” and wonder if there isn’t more to life than the mundane?

For many, there’s been that day where someone looked into the mirror, noticed nose or ear hairs starting to grow, and thought to themselves “What now?”

You gotta dream big if you want your life to be exceptional. But the problem is, too often, people stop dreaming. They get caught in routines, get lazy, fat, and end up talking more about television programs with people in their social networks than pursuing their dreams.

It’s sad. But what about being a parent?

Parents can have dreams too. But to my understanding, a parent’s attention is constantly demanded by their child/children. So in other words, does a parent even have time to dream?

I’m still suspicious (but more curious) of the reasons why people decide to be parents. (I won’t even go there with the people who become parents by accident.) When, and for what reasons did you decide parenthood was something you were going to experience in this life?

Please comment. Your comments are what will carry this discussion further. I decided not to be a parent because I still want to achieve my dreams- and I’m okay with honoring that. What made you decide to be or not be a parent?