Why Do Some Friends Die Too Young?
To some, death is an adventure. There are people who literally put their lives to the greatest tests. They jump out of planes, off of cliffs, get stuck between boulders in canyons and do some of the craziest things known to humankind.
I used to think this way. An old friend used to tell me my life motto was “If you’re not living life on the edge, then it’s not worth living at all.” (That motto no longer resonates with me. I’m more fearful than I used to be.)
Things change. But for some- they never get the chance to experience the change.
They die too young.
This morbid thought brings to memory an old friend, Amber.
Amber lived life on the edge. She had this energy to her. It seemed like she thought she never fit in. (and I’ll own my projection there.)
Amber died very tragically. On her 21st birthday, she was riding an oversized unicycle on the side of a freeway overpass. She rode over a bump or something that launched her over the side rail and onto the life ending pavement of Interstate 35W in Minneapolis.
She wasn’t drunk, hi, or in an altered state of mind. She just was too close to the edge.
Amber was only 21. She died too young.
Amber’s story is just a minute example of our friends who pass too early in life.
I’ve always wondered if Amber died because she was willing to take too huge of a risk(s). It’s weird to think how little we consciously realize the extent of how much we put our live’s in danger. (Amber was probably having the time of her life on the unicycle- the night of her 21st birthday.)
And there are some friends who don’t take much risks but end up dying anyway. (That’s where memories of people I knew bring up a ton of sadness.) The classmate in 5th grade, Michael Gephardt, who died of spinal meningits. The high school classmate who was accidentally shot and killed by his best friend. What risks did this these people take to lose their lives?
Nearly all 7 billion people on this planet (in their own way) will tell you life is a trip. They might even say life is an adventure. But for the people who die way too young- what do you think they would say?
You touch on one of the reasons I have become a Buddhist. In trying to make sense of why my best friend in first grade would die of a brain tumor, my 14 year old nephew would be killed by a drunken driver while helping a young female friend get home safely, why a high school friend would be shot to death by the cops while trying to break into his own home after forgetting his keys, … It doesn’t make sense that “Life” is a one time deal.
An international student at the University of Washington read my palm when I was 19 and predicted the major events in my life for the next 40 years. How is that possible unless we come into this life with a purpose and a path that we will follow/be led through. The free will is in how well we do it. The ancient religions of Hinduism and Buddhism are telling us if we don’t do it well, we get to try again. It is like the movie Ground Hog Day. When you delve into the litterature the explanations about dying young include things like “burning off Karma,” “serving as a teacher for others” and “learning about forgiveness.” I don’t really have any answers but for some reason, and because of several experiences, the way Buddhism holds the questions help me feel better about death in general. At the same time, I believe a devote Christain, Hindu, Muslim, or Jew could say the same thing because of their experiences.
Wow, Art. That’s an amazing thought about “burning off Kharma.” It brings to mind a saying, “this has happened before and it will happen again” (from all things- Battlestar Galactica!) Makes me wonder how many lives we actually live as a human…
Thanks a lot for posting your comment. This topic has been near and dear to me. It has the potential to carry the conversation on for lifetimes. I hope “in the next round” we are able to pick up where we left off- thanks to Internet technology.